Life with five dogs means adapting to chaos. And sometimes, even planning for chaos doesn’t help — as I learned when Louis defied physics and common sense by hurling himself into a 2ft square, 2ft deep pond… that was specifically designed so the dogs couldn’t get in.

Let’s rewind.

The Pond of Peace (Allegedly)

I had one goal: a serene little pond tucked into a corner of the garden. A tranquil water feature, surrounded by stones and plants — a lovely touch of calm amidst the usual barking whirlwind. To prevent disasters, it was raised, walled, and officially labeled “dog-proof.”

Enter Louis.

Louis: The Cocker Spaniel Who Laughs in the Face of Barriers

For reasons only known to him and possibly the ghost of some very determined koi, Louis decided this decorative puddle needed investigating. He trotted over, sniffed the perimeter, and — with zero hesitation — launched himself headfirst into the middle of it.

He didn’t slip. He didn’t fall. He committed.

There was a splash, a moment of silence, and then up popped Louis — eyes wide, ears plastered to his face, looking absolutely shocked to find water where water had, in fact, always been.

Nala: Judgement, Vol. 2

Nala watched this unfold with her usual air of disapproval. She didn’t bark. She just stood there, regal and dry, judging the scene like she’d just walked into a meeting of underqualified buffoons.

Penny: FOMO Activated

Penny was halfway in before I could shout, “No!” — convinced Louis had discovered a secret adventure portal. She didn’t care it was 2ft of stagnant water and regret — she was going in.

Riot: Suspicion Intensifies

Riot paced around the pond with military caution, clearly trying to work out if this was some kind of trap. He did a small bark of confusion, then looked at me like, “Is this a test? I feel like this is a test.”

Kai: Watching from Above

And Kai, sweet Kai — I can only imagine him watching from wherever good dogs go, tail wagging gently, saying “Typical.”

Aftermath:

Louis emerged soaked and triumphant, shaking dirty water everywhere and then having the audacity to act offended when I wouldn’t let him back inside. The pond, previously calm and dignified, looked like it had hosted a hippo wrestling match.

I hosed him down. I cleaned the pond. And I seriously considered renaming it “The Pit of Poor Decisions.”


Having five dogs means nothing is truly dog-proof. It also means there’s never a day without laughter, facepalms, and mud.

Stay soggy, stay stubborn,
Kai & Company